I think debunking some of those myths about if a boy plugs away, a girl's going to have a great time, but no, girls need to be like, 'No, this is what I want.
A good therapist, preferably one knowledgeable about grief and loss, will be a sounding board for you and help keep this violation from taking up more space in your life than it deserves.
I am furious and sick over this betrayal, because I was am? It's just like, 'What am I doing? I didn't really know what exactly masturbation was, but somehow my hand ended up in my pants and I was just rubbing my entire hand all over the place.
Use it all over your body.