I didn't want to go to counseling, I didn't want to talk to anyone, I just wanted him out of my life, but I realized way too late that this was an impulsive decision.
The more you learn about your priesthood, the more power you will infuse into your life.
For now, why not set aside church issues and focus on strengthening the relationship? Because of this, you must stop hiding behind that guilt and shame, own up to your mistakes and direct all your efforts towards helping your spouse heal and recover.
In other cases you will find a narcissistic spouse who is looking out for their own needs, and believes their spouse should be doing the same! Unfortunately, like you, this was never expressed to me and I was forced to move on.